Ne'er cast a clout

Ne’er cast a Clout til May is out…

Hawthorn is traditionally and more romantically known as May, hence the old saying. Embarrassingly I didn’t realise this until quite recently (really recently actually, and without any effort on my behalf. It was just there when I was reading another herbal medicine  student’s summary on the history and folklore of Hawthorn).

The May is quite definitely out in Kent this May. Hawthorn flowers are effervescing everywhere.

When Charlie and I go for our morning snack filled sniffari the side roads are looking like the distilled best of Rita Sackville West’s white garden.

Full on May flowers

Full-on May flowers tower above glowing cow parsley, which in turn is balanced delicately above clouds of stitchwort and white dead nettle. The slanting early morning light sets it all off to perfection.

And incredibly it’s just there, a perfect May moment in a half managed road verge, a visual gift in the true definition of the word; unlooked for and undeserved. It’s startling, even breath-taking, and generous without expecting reciprocation. Even the holly hedges are in flower at the moment. Rita, eat your heart out, nature got there first.

Hawthorn is a member of the rose family (Rosaceae) who’s delicate white/pink flowers, usually with 5 or a few more petals can all be very similar. Here’s a selection of the family- its Pomes, Stones, Drupes and Blooms: Blackberry, Raspberry and everything in-between, Hawthorn of course, Apple, Pear, Strawberry, Quince, Cherry, Plum, Peach, Almond, Rowan, Lady’s Mantle, and of course Roses, although apart from the dog rose and the simple forms they don’t much resemble their ancestors any more.

L-R top to bottom- Hawthorn, Loganberry, Cherry, Apple, Quince

As well as supplying 85% of our tree and soft fruit, the Rosaceae family is very important for pollinators, especially our native bumblebees.

So, if you ever get asked what plant families will be on your desert island disc list, choose Rosaceae.

Criminal digging spree

In other more sombre news, there were scenes of devastation mid month at the Henitentiary garden when the well known criminal Charles ‘Charlie’ Barker-Potterton (AKA Bad Boy Charlie) allegedly embarked on a destructive digging spree that left tens of plants injured and dying.

The facts emerged shortly afterwards: It appears he targeted the corner of veg bed number 5, with its 2 neat rows of just sprouting carrots to bury the evidence of his disgusting gummy half chewed fake bone (composed of ‘nutritious and veterinary approved animal products’).

As events unfolded, the dragging of the netting from and across the multiple small, vulnerable and now squashed plants waiting in pots in the adjacent bed to be planted out, and their subsequent exposure to the depredations of the infamous Wood Pigeon Gang, resulted in injuries to 3 Foxtail Millets so severe that they were sadly not compatible with survival and they had to be euthanised and composted.

Scenes of Devastation in Bed 5

Several other plants present at the scene received life-changing mutilations in this horrific incident, and it’s suspected many will go on to suffer from PTSD.

It was all of 30 minutes before he returned to the scene of the crime, retrieving the bone substitute, causing further damage that wasn’t thought possible at that point, before bringing it indoors and eating it, mud and all, on the front room carpet.

When confronted with evidence of his crime after the clean up operation, Bad Boy Charlie declined to make a comment without reference to his lawyers. The case continues.

Bad Boy Charlie-’No comment’

Collecting eggs

Did you see those charming pictures of king Charles and his chickens recently? Apparently his coop is called cluckingham palace, and in his flock he has some rescue hens. Bless!

He still looked immaculate, of course (well, he is the King!), even in his coop, with his baggy trousers tucked into shiny wellies, holding a wistfully idyllic basket of eggs, which also  looked immaculate. Obviously no dirty ducks allowed in that pristine set up.

I bet he never gets dirty knees

When I collect eggs I also usually go in with boots, but mine are not shiny or immaculate. I’m also geared up with gloves and a child’s fishing net. I don’t have to use the net all the time, just for snagging any eggs tucked away in places where I may otherwise have to kneel down to reach them.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not yet so decrepit that I can’t get up off my knees without help, it’s just that even relatively dry looking areas of the Henitentiary usually turn out to be treacherously moist.

This inevitably leads to a wet and noisome duckpoo/mud combination patch coating the knee of anyone foolish enough to kneel down in there. It’s a rookie error that I’m way too experienced to commit these days.

The chickens (when they do actually lay some eggs) will choose a nest box usually, but the ducks just plop them down anywhere, quite literally. So they’re usually covered with the same stuff that awaits the unwary kneeler and have to be washed off after collection. Hence the gloves. Urgh!

Don’t worry about those eggs, girls…

You just plop them down anywhere.

Early summer sowings

It’s reached the point of the year that, as usual, my to-do list has long gone out of the window and I’m struggling just to keep up with the weeds smirking at me from every corner of the garden, not to mention watering and trying to get myself and the garden through the repeated heatwaves without melting.

If you do have five minutes in early June though, it’s worth direct sowing dwarf green beans (the kind that are called ‘fine’ beans in supermarkets and imported from South Africa, topped and tailed in small plastic bags). These gallop away in the warm soil this time of year, are very productive, and the beans taste lovely and don’t get stringy if they are not picked exactly on time.

An added bonus is the plants can be pulled complete once done and fed to the chickens and ducks. They’ll grow anywhere too, in pots or spaces in the border, and they’ll even do well in part shade.

A few more lettuces, and another sowing of beetroot and carrots will also do well now if you have the energy and space.

Factoid- Happy Gardening, quite literally.

I read recently that soil scientists have found a direct and measurable hormonal link between gardening and good mental health. It’s been known for years that people are happier and healthier when they get out to do a bit of gardening regularly but until recently it hasn’t been clear why.

Having your hands in contact with soil and even smelling it can expose you to Mycobacterium vaccae. Scary though this may sound at first, apparently exposure to this common soil bacteria induces a measurable increase in serotonin in the brain, elevating mood and reducing the effects of stress.

On that positive note- see you next time!

Karen X